It’s not that I don’t believe kids should get private work in with a coach. On the contrary, they need to get as much of that as they can.

They just came up with a “better algorithm” where you can still lose a close match and move up, and win a close match and move down.

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I can’t help you with your school being upset about absences due to tournament travel, but I can help you in regards to a better training environment. It’s going to be a huge commitment, but if you’re considering homeschooling, you’re already extremely committed to doing everything possible for your child’s success.

It’s one thing to see a player play one match. It’s another to see how they handle different scenarios on back to back days. That’s where you really get to know the player. But in regards to the overall tournament, when the juniors I was responsible for weren’t competing, I was watching everyone else and learning. These were the 3 most important things I took away from the event:

My biggest frustration as a professional player was not being able to afford to travel with a coach. It was too expensive. I was already losing money traveling by myself. If I brought my coach, my debt would skyrocket.

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You’ve started to learn the drop shot, the slice, the serve and volley, and all these fun shots and you can’t wait to implement them. That’s what makes tennis fun! You have freedom of choice, and you can surprise your opponent at anytime. But sometimes you can surprise yourself by randomly going for a drop shot on an important point, when it’s actually one of the worst shots in your arsenal!

For that to happen, to be completely focused on every little detail, an athlete has to care about the immediate present as if it’s the most important thing in the world. Mentally. Physically. And emotionally. Only when you care that much about the present can you be 100% focused.

I think we need to stop asking kids to make achievement goals, and only do performance goals.

If you’re like me, your passion for tennis includes competition. That passion goes beyond simply learning how to hit a ball. It goes beyond how to have the perfect technique.

It’s about stepping on the court, across from an opponent, and enjoying the chess match that a tennis match requires. It’s about figuring out how to give yourself the best chance to win.

To do this well, a player needs to have match play skills. These skills are:

- how to use your strengths and hide your weaknesses

- how to position yourself

- what adjustments to make in your strategy

- developing the routines in between points such as how to breathe, when to take time, when to play fast

- how to handle cheating

So coaches, take a look inwards. We might have a lot of great experience but we’re not perfect. Sometimes it’s us that needs to change and not the player. They might be doing everything possible, but our method of coaching will never help them maximize their potential. Be flexible. Be willing to learn. Do what’s best for the kids. Not your ego.

If someone’s tournament schedule isn’t handled appropriately, they won’t be prepared to play well. And if they don’t know what constitutes an appropriate tournament schedule, they’ll incorrectly have high expectations going into an event. They’ll be all excited as they’re playing their first tournament in a while. They’ve practiced a lot. They think they’re ready to compete!

And then boom!

They experience nerves under pressure for the first time in weeks.

We need to get back to our roots. The roots that made us known for being the hardest working people on the planet. The roots that taught us that if we wanted something, we went to work for it. And if we worked for it, we could accomplish whatever we wanted. The American Dream.

“Most of our fears and most of our anxieties don’t exist in the present.”

There is zero upside to looking at the draw, and immense downside.

But when you’re coaching a player, you’re not just coaching the game. You’re coaching the person. Their personality. The moment. The day. The energy. The mood. Everything that doesn’t have to do with actually hitting the ball.

All of that needs to go into a coach’s decision about when to (or not to) correct a mistake, how to do it, in what tone of voice, what words to use, and how long to speak for.

Tennis is the only sport in the world where you can win more points than your opponent and still lose.

We ask the kids to commit to do whatever it takes, but we never ask the parents to do the same.

“Albert Mehrabian created the 7-38-55 rule. That is, only 7 percent of a message is based on the words while 38 percent comes from the tone of voice and 55 percent from the speaker’s body language and face.” Chris Voss - Never Split The Difference